Cult Cinema: Miami Connection

Miami Connection is accidentally one of the funniest movies I have ever seen.  It’s almost as if this movie was made specifically to cater to B-movie fan’s tastes but it is completely unintentional and that is what makes it truly special.  This movie has it all: awkward acting, terrible editing, random boobs, ninjas, guys wearing shorts that are way too short, giant mustaches, rocking tunes, decapitations, ninjas riding motorcycles and much more.  It’s a cornucopia of nonsensical 80's absurdity but made in a completely serious manner which adds to the overall hilariousness.

The story follows a Tae Kwon Do group that moonlights as a band called Dragon Sound, that in between gigs, have to fight street gangs and ninjas over cocaine smuggling (I am not making this up, this is the actual plot).  Somebody actually wrote this script and somehow got the funding to make this movie and that blows my mind.  Only in the 1980's could a movie with this ridiculous of a premise get the green light to be made.  Oddly enough, Dragon Sound has some seriously catchy songs and one of them was actually included on the soundtrack of a recent video game, Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon—they are that good!  The acting in this film is the worst I have ever witnessed--it’s as if they literally used the first take of every scene. It makes The Room look like Schindler’s List. The editing is horrible, so things just randomly happen and there is no flow from scene to scene.  Have you ever wanted to watch the characters in a movie eat their lunch and have small talk for ten minutes about nothing that is relevant to the plot in any way?  Miami Connection lets you do that!

Now this review might make it seem like I hate this movie, but in actuality, I loved it!  It’s the most fun I have ever had watching a B-movie and I highly recommend it to fans of the genre.  I can see this movie becoming a cult favorite in a couple of years and getting play in movie houses at midnight showings.  If you and some like-minded buddies want to laugh your heads off and have a couple of beers, this isn’t a bad way to spend a Friday or Saturday night.  

8 out of 10 on the B movie scale!

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-review by Michelle Kisner