Cinematic Releases: The Canyons

Who doesn't want to see Lindsey Lohan make a comeback? Lohan was such a pretty girl that made family comedies that were actually funny. I find it completely sad that this is how her career will probably end. Drugs are a terrible thing.

Based on a Bret Easton Ellis story, it was exciting to see that The Canyons was being put to film. However, this one ends up nearly as sad as Lohan's career over the past 8 years. The Rules of Attraction and American Psycho are easily the two best Ellis adaptations. In terms of character development and atmosphere, The Canyons doesn't even come close to either of those. In fact, it's hard to believe that it comes from the same author at all.

The Canyons is just a boring relationship drama that repeatedly flaunts Lohan's bare chest to try to make it shocking. Sadly, whatever happened to her face is the most interesting and dramatic thing about the movie. When a porn star outshines all the other actors in your film, you know you have a serious problem. James Deen is the only one in this movie that seems to have any idea whats going on and delivers the most honest portrayal out of any of the cast in The Canyons.

To think that Paul Schrader directed this overlong tripe is very shocking. Schrader is the talented man that brought us American Gigolo, Cat People, and Auto Focus. With The Canyons it seems like he's lost control over his actors and has no feeling for story telling whatsoever. The movie is set at a constant pace of boredom throughout. Even when the climax comes, it's droning, lacks detail, and doesn't deliver any sense of the dynamic that a good movie rests upon.

I'll just stop there. The Canyons is terrible.

-Review by Chris George