Cinematic Releases: Getaway

Some movies can be accepted as big dumb fun. Others can just be called dumb. In the case of Getaway, the choice would be to simply state the latter. The film is an end of summer abomination starring two great actors and an overly annoying Selena Gomez doing her best to keep up with Ethan Hawke's ever present and over dramatized look of desperation. Getaway is an overlong 96 minute car chase that is never entertaining and is nothing Jon Voight should have touched with a ten foot pole.

It's more mindless than the Transporter movies while a much needed Jason Statham is absolutely nowhere to be found. At least his sense of humor and irony, could have made Getaway slightly enjoyable. Nothing, I repeat, nothing about this movie is entertaining in the slightest. It's absolute typical garbage that got pushed to the end of summer in the hopes that idiots like me would take a chance on one final summer action movie.

Once I realized that Getaway was directed by Courtney Solomon, the guy who made An American Haunting and Dungeons & Dragons, the picture became much clearer. This guy couldn't direct himself out of a cardboard box much less choreograph a modern action film. Getaway is one of the rare times that the exit sign was becoming an extremely viable option. I squirmed. I laughed. I moaned out loud. Luckily, I was the only person in the theater so I didn't have much to worry about. And this is opening night?

Jon Voight plays the man with the villainous plan under the disguise of a heavy German accent. Even this was laughable. Voight's voice is very distinguishable. The god awful accent only raised the cheese factor. There was no rhyme or reason to his accent or his motives. He was just another carboard cutout villain hiding behind a cell phone while manipulating the main characters in to carrying out his evil plan. Seriously? Come on. Haven't audiences grown tired of the same old plot by now?

When I say skip Getaway, I mean it. Don't give it a minute of your hard earned money or time. It's truly low level entertainment that makes The Expendables look like high art. That's rough. I'm confused as to Hawke and Voight's decisions in starring in the picture. But after this, I've officially lost a little respect for both of them. Solomon should be ashamed of this garbage and Selena Gomez should take a couple acting classes. If you're gonna try to be one of the big boys (even when they're bad), you need keep up with the big boys.

- Review by Chris George