Cult Cinema: Nurse 3D

If you like naked chicks, scandalous nurse outfits, and boobs or any combination of these things, then Nurse is the movie for you. 

"Would you like those up sized?"
It’s billed as a sexy thriller/horror flick but the horrendous acting, major plot holes and underwhelming gore keep it from being anything but a cheap thrill. I have nothing against gratuitous nudity or sexual content but when t & a is the only thing on the menu in a film I get bored. If I wanted to watch soft core porn, I can turn on Cinemax. This movie literally has nothing going for it except completely naked women (and some half naked guys).

Paz de la Huerta plays Abby Russell, a nurse who goes on murderous rampages to kill philandering husbands and boyfriends. This could have been an interesting premise if they would have taken it down a more disturbing route, but instead they handle it in the most clich√© way possible and rely on plot holes and unbelievable situations to make it work. 

Paz de la Huerta delivers some of the worst acting I have ever seen in a movie and this is no hyperbole. Every piece of dialogue she utters is so horribly stilted and awkward that it almost makes the movie unwatchable. Luckily, she is naked most of the time she is speaking so I’m sure that will overshadow how terrible it is to some people. 

"Look into my soulless eyes!"
I love cheesy movies and most of those have less than stellar acting, but they at least have some pizazz or hilarious moments. Nurse is just generic in every way and tries to cover up its shortcomings with lots of nudity. It looks like a mid-90’s basic cable made-for-TV movie and most of the blood and gore is done digitally. The soundtrack is nothing to speak of and it only has one interesting moment near the end of the film. It doesn’t make up for how bad the rest of it is, but it was cool for those fleeting five minutes.  

I cannot reiterate enough how bad this movie is and I love B movies to death. Avoid this unless you want an excuse to look at boobs for an hour and twenty minutes. However, you can see those for free on the internet.

-Review by Michelle Kisner