Cinematic Releases: The Amazing Spider-Man 2 - Review #2

Tom is crawling up a wall with his counterpoint review of The Amazing Spider-Man 2.

"Eat your heart out, Palpatine!
I am much more high voltage!"
Look, I get it. I really do. Hardcore comic book readers base their enjoyment of movies solely on how true the experience is to the source material. No matter how mundane and insipid the movie is, comic book fanboys will root for it if it strikes the right comic book nerdgasm chords.
But what about the rest of us? I have nothing against comic book or superhero movies. I absolutely LOVE all the Avenger-related movies and even dig the X Men films a little bit. But I love them because they're great movies. Captain America: Winter Soldier is a great example of a comic book movie that works for movie goers. I loved it so much, it actually got me to watch Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. religiously and want to start reading the comic books.
There is so much missing for movie fans with this flick. There was absolutely zero character development in this movie. I vaguely remember something about Sally Fields taking a second job. I thought it would be a big deal, or at least a valid plot point. But it was glossed over so quickly I couldn't care about it at all.
" funny. They thought
I died at the end of Titanic!
Well, here I am, bitches!"
It seems like the action will pick up when some science dude loves Spiderman, then suddenly... Well, things change quickly, cheesily, and with very little explanation when he gets all electric to the sounds of a Skrillex rip-off.
The first hour and a half are filler material; perfectly average goings-on that Sony cranked out to retain the rights to Spider Man for a few more years. I required numerous reminders that the mid-twenty-something main actors were supposed to be graduating high school. I never got a sense of Peter Parker's sense of anything. What does being Spider Man mean to him? Is this an alternate universe version of Spider Man where Peter is both borderline retarded and has borderline personality disorder?
Why is Spider Man able to change outfits in the blink of a camera change in one scene, only to require 30 seconds to change in another? Purely for lame, poorly timed comedic effect as far as I can tell. I don't want to be accused of failing to suspend disbelief here; I'm not looking for a physics lesson. But after seeing so many great superhero films in the last two or three years, I'm just looking for some consistency and something to engage me as a movie watcher.
I keep coming back to how poorly the characters, especially the villains, were developed. Hardcore comic book fans can fill in all of the massive gaps left out of the movie story, but most of us aren't hardcore comic fans. I'd like to say that the action scenes make up for the mundanity of the rest of the movie, but they're just average. There was so much potential for the villains to use their ill-explained powers in unique ways, but the potential was wasted. When I'm going to a superhero movie that's not based on a Friedrich Nietzsche work, I want some friggin' ACTION. Nope. Same old stuff.

This movie just plain sucked for movie goers. It's this year's Kick-Ass 2. If you enjoyed that movie, you'll have an amazing experience with this "Twilight" rendition of Spider Man. Otherwise, just wait for Godzilla.

-Tom McDaniel