Scarecrows gets the Scream Factory blu-ray treatment this week.
This week, Scream Factory reanimates another lesser-known
'80s horror film, a 1988 twist on the zombie formula called Scarecrows.
As always, the much-loved studio does a stellar job, but the question is: is
this another overlooked gem like they've uncovered for us in the past, or
simply a weak genre entry that has been forgotten because it's just...
forgettable?
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| "Damn it! I was gonna pay you back." |
A few years ago when Scarecrows had never been
released on DVD and only survived as nostalgic memories and a very rare Vestron
Video VHS, it had taken on an almost mythic reputation as a great, lost horror
film of the 1980s, and a truly unique twist on the zombie movie. Oh, how
nostalgia can warp our memories. Belatedly watching the film for the first
time, I really wanted it to be something great, and live up to that
half-remembered hype. Unfortunately, it doesn't. At its best, it packs some
great atmosphere and very nasty gore that livens up what is otherwise a very
by-the-number zombie tale; at its worst it is jaw-droppingly stupid and rather
tedious. This is the exact type of film that Cabin in the Woods makes
fun of, with even more cliches and dumb moments than most movies in that
category. Watching it for the first time as a fan of Cabin may be a
little unfair to Scarecrows, but honestly, it doesn't need a subsequent
spoof to make its failings obvious; its script does that without any help.
While the premise itself sounds fairly unique – soldiers-turned-criminals
hiding in a farmhouse surrounded by living killer scarecrows – all it really
does is use the soldiers as a more gruff and badass substitute for standard
horror movie teenagers, and dress zombies up in scarecrow outfits. The latter
at least is a very good decision: the scarecrows look awesomely creepy, and the
ways in which they kill their victims are very unique and nasty. These guys
could have been the villains of a truly memorable horror flick, but instead all
we get is reheated leftovers of Night of the Living Dead with a bit of Evil
Dead thrown in for seasoning. Which would be perfectly fine if the movie
was written in a way that at least made it feel a little bit new, or if it had
a sense of humor about itself; Neil Marshall's directorial debut Dog
Soldiers is superficially similar to Scarecrows (except with
werewolves), but is an awesome, extremely entertaining movie for exactly those
reasons. Alas, Scarecrows' script is the final nail in the coffin.
Even for horror movie characters, these folks are
staggeringly dumb. And for an elite commando squad who just had the skills to
pull of a heist? It's impossible to believe. They are constantly splitting up
and wandering off alone, even after they know there are killers outside. They
do absurdly un-stealthy things like play harmonica while trying to sneak past
the scarecrows, and they just cannot seem to figure out the obvious
supernatural things happening right in front of their faces. And then when they
do figure things out, they forget them by the next scene. Not to mention, they
speak in really, really bad dialogue.
Consider this exchange:
Soldier 1: “I think this place is possessed by demonic
demons!”
Soldier 2: “Your face will be possessed by the butt of my gun
if you don't shut up.”
Stellar stuff there; they sound like Homestar Runner and
Strong Bad.
The movie does have a couple consistent strong points. The
atmosphere is great, thanks to some top-notch art design and strong lighting
and camera work. It takes place entirely at night: a moody, moonlit night in
the spooky field behind a crumbling farmhouse. It's the perfect place for a
horror movie – even if the house bears a striking similarity to those in both The
Evil Dead and Cabin in the Woods. The effects and makeup are equally
excellent. The scarecrows look very creepy and convincing, and the gore effects
definitely pack a punch. This blu-ray, as well as the previous MGM DVD, feature
the unrated version of the film, which is four minutes longer than the old
R-rated version thanks to the various bloody kill scenes. But alas, strong
visuals do not a good film make, and the great atmosphere and effects prove to
be too little too late for Scarecrows. Especially since the real
scarecrow mayhem doesn't start until way too far into the film's short running
time, by which point the stupidity of it all is too much for it to overcome.
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| "Tough guys smoke cigars." |
As always, Scream Factory should be applauded for the love
and care they put into their blu-ray of Scarecrows: while MGM's DVD was
bare-bones, they loaded up this disc with some very cool special features.
There are two different audio commentaries – one from the director and the
producer, another from the co-writer, cinematographer, and score composer – and
two behind-the-scenes featurettes, about the special effects and the acting. I
can't help but think that there are other neglected '80s horror movies that
would be far more deserving of this special treatment, but bravo to Scream
Factory for going the extra mile even when the film maybe doesn't deserve it.
I love cheesy '80s horror flicks. Give me a spooky cabin in
the woods and some creepy monsters and I'm ready to have a great time. So of
course I went into Scarecrows fully prepared to really enjoy it, even
though I didn't expect a masterpiece. I was ready to be pretty forgiving of the
usual flaws that films like this have, as long as it delivered the fun, spooky
time that I was hoping for. But the flaws are just too much to be forgiving of,
even for someone like me who usually digs movies like this, and the stronger
moments are too few. If you really want to see this film in high def, or if you
have a nostalgic love for the movie and want to check out the extras, Scream
Factory's disc gives you everything you could possibly want. But personally, I
would recommend avoiding it, or if you really want to check it out, streaming
it before you spend money on the blu-ray. There are a lot of very cool,
overlooked genre flicks from this era, but this is definitely not one of them.
Leave it hanging in its corn field.
-Christopher S. Jordan