Cinematic Releases: Trainwreck - Guaranteed Spoiler Free Review

Will Amy Schumer and Bill Hader wreck the box office this weekend? Find out here.

amy schumer lebron james
"Lebron. How dare you out funny me!"
Judd Apatow seems to have forgotten one rule of funny movies. The best ones cut and run. 

Way too long and far too short on great jokes, Trainwreck is befitting of its name. Sadly, Mr. Apatow has lost his magic touch and has no idea when to end a movie. Ignoring every other malady of Trainwreck, the movie is forty five minutes too long and drags audiences through the painful dregs of every other relationship comedy they've ever seen before. This is the most predictable, awkwardly timed comedy that Apatow has ever made. Adding insult to injury,  Trainwreck goes head to head with his This Is 40 as one of the most poorly written comedies of the decade and probably the second worst of his career. 

Amy is a drunk. Amy likes weed. Amy likes to screw random dudes. Amy is scared of relationships. Amy is hung up on her dad. Amy's name is Amy. Seriously? Amy wrote this script and couldn't think of anything better to call herself than Amy? While her performance qualifies her as a "funny person", her self depreciating role here is grating, thoroughly irritating, and lacks anything different from one single thing she's done before. Sitting through Schumer's typical boyfriend/girlfriend, breakup, get back together routine is devoid of anything that strikes one single chord of originality. We get it. Amy is a bad person with bad habits. Stop beating us over the head with it.  After forty five minutes of being reminded of her terrible qualities, this movie becomes a caricature of itself, hell bent on ruining the good karma that Bill Hader brings to this otherwise brain dead comedy. 

amy schumer bill hader
"Yes!!! I think this review is
almost over!!"
Armed to the teeth with pro sports cameos, the best thing about Trainwreck is non-actor LeBron James. The athlete offers up some cutting edge laughter while never hesitating to make himself look like an absolute idiot. His comic timing is perfect and his natural wit feels coy and non-forced. Pairing him with Hader is nearly brilliant as their dynamic makes Trainwreck somewhat bearable. 
Numerous other cameos inhabit the story, but a goofy support role by John Cena also ups the ante for a movie that needed a couple more rewrites and a steroid shot before production.

To put it simply, you've seen Trainwreck a thousand times over. Everything here has been done before. It's ripped directly from countless other boy meets girl relationship flicks and brings nothing new to the table. Unfortunately, I think Schumer could have done a bang up job if more time had been dedicated to something more original. Trainwreck is way too long, relies too heavily on genre tropes, and becomes far too sentimental for the kind of movie this was supposed to be. To put it bluntly, it was refreshing when the credits rolled. 

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