Indie Horror: Serial Kaller

Check out our review of the recently released, Serial Kaller. 

Did you say you don't like boobs?!!!

I’m no stranger to low-budget trashy horror flicks. In fact, they are one my guiltiest of pleasures and I search far and wide for the nastiest ones. What makes an exploitation movie fun (I won’t say good because they aren’t ever good) to watch? Usually it’s a combination of tits, ass, corny acting and gore.  Unfortunately, Serial Kaller fails on every single level and is almost unwatchable. It’s unbearably dreadful and I wanted to turn it off halfway through the film. However, as a movie critic, I have to take one for the team and persevere so that I can use my powers to warn other unsuspecting souls of what they might be getting themselves into.

 

Serial Kaller is a soft porn masquerading as a slasher flick, which on its own isn’t a bad premise, but it doesn’t do a good job at either of those things. On the faux-porn side, the chicks are half-dressed but nobody gets naked and people have sex while still wearing clothes.  Let me repeat that, there are people who act like they are having sex even though it’s fully apparent that they didn’t take their underwear or  pants off. The film takes place in a sex phone operation, one in which the ladies lie around on beds in their underwear while being filmed (which doesn’t make sense since it’s phone sex but whatever). It’s played for titillation but they don’t go all the way with it—it just seems like pointless window dressing, or perhaps as a ruse to distract you from how horrible the film is.

She said she didn't like boobs,
so we beat her up.

So, on the other side of this film you have a serial killer….er “kaller” who is murdering the poor sex phone operators. In these types of films you better deliver the goods on the murder department since that’s the entire appeal of the genre. All the kills are bland, boring, poorly acted and terribly staged. The practical effects are awful and fake looking and there is no pizazz or originality to the deaths. Seriously, this is some of the worst acting I have ever seen and it seems like they used the first take of every scene.  People literally flub lines and it’s left in the film. Imagine the acting in every porn you have ever watched. It’s worse than that. Not to mention the sound quality is mediocre and the musical score is too loud and overpowering. Serial Kaller barrels past “so bad it’s good” territory right into “so bad it’s shit” and then goes past that point to making the viewer question what they are doing with their life.

You don’t get boobs and you don’t get cool gore so there is absolutely no reason to watch this film. Don’t waste your time.

Score

-Michelle Kisner