The Horde is released May 6th. Check out our early review, son.
Let's keep this simple. What do you get if somehow Rambo (the movie) and The Hills Have Eyes (the movie, more so the Alexandre Aja version) were to copulate and have a love child? You guessed it! The Horde!
The Horde stars and is also written by Paul Logan, famous for other gems such as Mega Piranha and Aliens on Crack, and also a star in the soap opera Days of our Lives. He plays John Crenshaw, the ultimate badass apparently. While Paul Logan has the physique and chiseled out face for the part, a three-hundred and fifty pound World of Warcraft addict with a lisp could have executed a more convincing performance. It all just seemed so forced and synthetic that it really distracted me from some of the other lackluster performances in The Horde.
|My face is so bad ass. |
However, towards the end of the first half an hour of this film, something really threw me for a curve ball. Without a spoiler, I will just say that some people are in the woods in North America trying to observe an animal in a forest and the animal is clearly a Skinny Pig (a hairless Guinea Pig). A little research if you don't mind:
|Really? No. Really?|
Now, without this knowledge, I know for a fact that a Guinea Pigs, or even Skinny Pigs are not native to any forest in North America. I also think that that is pretty common knowledge So, how in the hell did the people making this movie think that that little detail would slip by unnoticed? Maybe I am missing something here? Was this some tip of the hat that I did not pick up on?
All in all, I just wasn't invested in the characters enough by the end of The Horde to really feel any satisfaction from the time invested.
-Scott L. Lambert