Some franchises have spent too much time on Earth. So, let's turn their life support off and let them die.
The Bourne Saga
After this latest outing in the Bourne franchise, it's easy to see there's nowhere else to go with his story. Considering the one chance they had to spin this off was turned into a snoozefest called The Bourne Legacy, this entire story needs to come to a conclusion immediately. This latest film, Jason Bourne was nothing but an amalgamation of story points we've already visited as the title character is still on the run in a completely different decade. While the technology was way more advanced, this newest retread was a failure across the board and should be the final movie in this long running franchise. Unless they can come up with a new spin on Bourne's story, it's time to let this one die. There's nothing else to do with it.
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| That's one bullet for my acting career and another for Paul W.S. Anderson. |
Resident Evil
The Resident Evil movies are so bad, they're not even fun to watch. After the first film in the franchise all but ignored the mythology from the games, each subsequent sequel has gotten worse and worse. With terrible graphics, horrendous acting, and god awful direction, RE is like the Walmart of video game movies. It's cheap, bloated, and an excuse to take advantage of people that don't know any better. It's been stated that this next film will be the last in this version of the filmed Resident Evil universe, but you and I both know they'll find any reason to come back with another one. Milla needs to move on and her husband should be banned from ever working in Hollywood again. Paul W.S. Anderson is a scourge upon the creative world and has only ever made one good movie, Event Horizon.
Terminator
How many different people can play John Connor over the course of this series? And how many times can the story line be hackneyed by script writers that have no idea how to feature continuity between films? How many times can fans say enough is enough? The Terminator franchise has been raked over the coals three different times now. From the woeful repetition of Rise of the Machines to the disastrous Salvation to the timeline destroying manifestation of Genisys, The Terminator needs to rest in a pile of theatrical scrap. It's over. Arnold is too old to come back and play the character again and all logic was thrown out with the faltered time jumping of Genisys. Ten years from now they can reboot this thing with all different players. But for now, die Terminator die.
Transformers
Michael Bay has a real problem with the Transformers movies. They suck. When even your child has no interest in seeing another unwatchable two and a half hours of smash em up robot battles, you know you have a problem on your hands. Other than the first film in the series, these get more bloated as time goes on. The action is nearly unwatchable and classic characters are wasted over and over again. It's simply time to conclude this iteration of the Transformers. Fans would be ecstatic to see an eventual return to form that pits the Autobots vs. Decepticons in a series that's closer in tone to what the animated movie and series did. Until then, Michael Bay should keep making stuff like 13 Hours and Pain & Gain. That's his wheelhouse.
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| Say, you're a real smart ass, aren't you? I've got plenty of VOD movies coming out this year. |
Die Hard
Over the past couple decades, John McClane has been turned from a foul mouthed cop to a PG-13 globetrotting trouble magnet that can survive anything. The original Die Hard gave us a new spin on the action hero and was a welcomed breath of fresh air among the Stallones and Schwarzeneggers. McClane was an everyman pitted against the evils of terrorists and overwhelming odds. Well, the last two movies have been abysmal, cheap looking action flicks that truly test the patience of their too forgiving audience members. With a new movie planned that will supposedly give us a backstory for John McClane, all I can say is 'Please stop!!! Enough is enough!'. We don't need any more Die Hard movies unless they can take him to the retirement home and do battle against evil caretakers from a foreign land. This is just another overlong franchise that needs to be suffocated. Turn the ventilator off. Let it die.
-CG