VOD Releases: Yoga Hosers (2016) - Reviewed

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After a successful string of massive cult hits, Kevin Smith has decided to troll his loyal following with the strangest and most unfocused film he's ever made. Starring Lily-Rose Depp (Johnny's daughter) and Harley Quinn Smith (Kevin's super talented offspring), this is the comedic equivalent of drinking a gallon of dollar store bleach. 

Yoga Hosers is easily the worst movie of his career that lets two Hollywood offspring play make believe against a group of baddies called Bratzis, Nazis made of bratwurst, as they stumble in their attempts to poke fun at Canadian culture.  The idea is dumb. The plot nondescript. And the delivery is overwhelmingly replete with a lack of any sense whatsoever. I really want my 88 minutes back after watching this amateurish nightmare that only solidifies Smith's faltering sense of comedy. 

As the second in his True North trilogy, Yoga Hosers should serve as Smith's bow out from making full length features. If he can't get back to his comedic roots, all is lost for him.  Between his Red State and Tusk, Smith ventured to make statements on religious extremism and the vile torture porn that took over horror for years. Both of those abandoned the themes of his earlier works and were at minimum a dynamic shift for the director.Sadly, Yoga Hosers has nothing to say and no commentary that his followers will attach themselves to. Other than the great chemistry between Lily-Rose Depp and Harley Quinn Smith, this Canadian horror comedy is a blustering mess that wastes Johnny Depp and Ralph Garmin.

Considering the serious religious connotations of Dogma, the sexual angst of Chasing Amy and the continued broadcast of his Jay and Silent Bob characters, Smith seems to have lost the touch that made his movies special. There is nothing here to latch on to. And when it finally gets going, it starts to feel like a cheap mid-'90s Full Moon Entertainment film with little annoying humanoid creatures that add to this never ending pile of filmed failures. His Yoga Hosers tries tries to initiate satirical jabs at his own films that are straight up flat footed and unneeded. If he wanted to cash in on previous properties, he should have sequel-ized another one of his own movies. This might have been fun for him to make but it's an unmarketable disaster that won't have the same pop culture effects as anything he did in the early part of his career. 

Shhhhhhh......don't tell anyone. I'm an undercover police officer disguised as a French Canadian detective disguised as a high school student. Huh?

If you were put off by Smith's attempt at horror with Tusk, Yoga Hosers will probably finish the job and completely piss you off. This is the most mundane and pointless movie of 2016. And it's a 5 million dollar waste of energy and talent. Many indie film directors would die to have this type of budget to make something watchable or worthwhile. With dreadful looking CGI and a painful screenplay, I honestly cannot believe I'm writing about the same Kevin Smith that used to be an envelope pusher. Yoga Hosers really really sucks. If you hated Tusk (which I didn't), this will make you dream of the Mallrats days.