Cinematic Releases: Baywatch (2017) - Reviewed

Where on earth do we start with Baywatch? I'll tell you where. See this movie. If you watched the show, you need to go to the theater right now. 

Never in a million years did this guy think he'd be about to review this comedic television to movie reboot in such a positive light. But, it's just that good. Sometimes, we need to leave the seriousness of life at the ticket booth and just enjoy the ride. This is one of those cases. Baywatch is exactly like the television show with its goofy story and a team of lifeguards playing criminal clean up duty on the beach. Dwayne Johnson and his team of big hearted swimmers are here to save they day....and possibly the summer. With no big robots or superheroes in sight, this movie abandons the typical summer fare for belly laughs, eye rolling situations, some sexiness, and just enough skin to keep the dudes happy. 

The movie does exactly what the 21 Jump Street movies did for that series. It takes an existing property, then modernizes it, puts a beautiful cast in a sunny setting and fills it with as many adult oriented jokes as possible. It's pure escapism that's rooted in penis quips, grotesque scenes with dead bodies, absolutely outrageous action sequences, and a simpleton plot that could have been written by a hyper talented foul mouthed fifth grader with a copy of Microsoft Word. Still, Baywatch rocks. It's the red headed stepchild of every attempt to cash in on a retired brand that does a hell of a job making it so silly, you can't help but laugh. 

Things are about to get wet. 

Dwayne Johnson can do no wrong. The man can take any movie and turn out an excellent performance. The same can be said about his role as Mitch. His quick tongue and line delivery flow naturally, making him the standout of the film. He's done comedy before, but here he's one hundred percent spot on, bringing both a great physical appearance and a sharp wit that steals (most) of the spotlight from his support team. Backed up by Zac Efron's unleashed skill at playing the mentally dim athlete, the two are a perfect match for each other. Efron has always been talented. It's good to see him taking a lead role in something that allows him to use his good looks and humorous leanings to full effect. Sadly, Alexandra Daddario isn't given too much to do other than look pretty and read poorly written lines. She's a good actress when given something to chew on. Here, she's just eye candy. 

As a huge fan of the recent CHIPs reboot, the Jump Street flicks, and almost all of the current attempts to cash in on existing tv brands, this Baywatch will never win one single award. But it will let you experience a cast that's having a great time starring in a movie that's big on fun and low on brain power. Every once in a while, that's okay. Baywatch is the reboot we need right now. 

Grab a towel and see it. You might get wet.