Cinematic Releases: Transformers: The Last Knight (2017) - Reviewed

Time and time again, the Autobots are called to protect Earth against their metallic foes, the Decepticons. With a pissed off Megatron back for more mayhem, Optimus Prime must save the mindless humans that put themselves in the center of their timeless war. Starting off with some contrived tale of the middle ages, The Last Knight fails at every single turn. 

Michael Bay once again tries his best to degrade his paying audience with a two and a half hour marathon of boisterous non-committal cinematic garbage that should absolutely be the closing chapter of this Transformers saga. You know what they say about repeating yourself over and over again and expecting a different result, right? That's what we call insanity. And that's exactly what this movie is. It's an insane prop up for a slew of spinoffs and even more sequels that puts us through the spin cycle repeatedly.  

This latest, The Last Knight, is an abomination of sorts that presents a schizophrenic plot that has no aim other than to recreate everything he's done in all of these movies. Taking into consideration his first chapter in the saga and Dark of the Moon, there is really nothing to latch on to or to enjoy about the now fifth part of an ongoing franchise that has no soul or sense of adventure. The Last Knight is the equivalent of an unhinged Bay in perpetual crazed repetition that sparks nothing of originality. Planetary destruction is coming and of course, the Autobots have to save the day. 

Hey Prime! Say hi to your mother for me. 

Yes, the visuals and sound design are still stunning. But the human element that he tried in the 2007 original starring Shia Lebouf and that whimsical set of hilarious parents is simply nowhere to be found. The Last Knight is a cavalcade of nonsense that skips the creation of a rudimentary plot or sympathy for the main characters with the most inane thing Bay has ever tried. It's a certified disaster. And interjecting scenes of John Turturro's Simmons to try and make some connection between the two separate story arcs is off putting and removes the viewer from the film. He just doesn't need to be here. The humor is brainless. The franchise should be put to sleep. 

Sadly, this Transformers movie (if you can call it that) is like Bay's final attempt at throwing every red cent at the screen that he possibly can. With a story that just revitalizes the exact same 'Mcguffin' tricks that he's tried before, there may actually be a real backlash against this empty box of toys. Using an underutilized Anthony Hopkins and an always out of breath Mark Wahlberg, I honestly cannot state how much I disliked this series killer. Armed with every explosion and planetary destruction model at his fingertips, The Last Knight is actually hard to stomach or sit through. 

Look into my eye.......

It pains me to say it. It's easy to give a movie a great review. It hurts to destroy a project that someone worked so hard on for so long. But, I'm actually rooting for someone else to come in and take over this series. Hopefully the upcoming Bumblebee entry will introduce a real story with heart. It's said that they're using themes of The Iron Giant in their script. This would be a huge step in the right direction. With Wahlberg and Bay saying they're done, it may be high time to rework this entire brand in a positive direction that can bring some real sense of humanity back to the Transformers. 

Up until now, I've purchased every one of these on blu-ray. I cannot say the same for The Last Knight. There is nothing to like about it. Bay needs to stick to projects like Pain & Gain and 13 Hours. His talents are better used in areas like that.