Miami Connection
is accidentally one of the funniest movies I have ever seen. It’s almost as if this movie was made
specifically to cater to B-movie fan’s tastes but it is completely
unintentional and that is what makes it truly special. This movie has it all: awkward acting,
terrible editing, random boobs, ninjas, guys wearing shorts that are way too
short, giant mustaches, rocking tunes, decapitations, ninjas riding motorcycles
and much more. It’s a cornucopia of
nonsensical 80's absurdity but made in a completely serious manner which adds to
the overall hilariousness.
The story follows a Tae Kwon Do group that moonlights as a
band called Dragon Sound, that in between gigs, have to fight street gangs and
ninjas over cocaine smuggling (I am not making this up, this is the actual
plot). Somebody actually wrote this
script and somehow got the funding to make this movie and that blows my
mind. Only in the 1980's could a movie
with this ridiculous of a premise get the green light to be made. Oddly enough, Dragon Sound has some seriously
catchy songs and one of them was actually included on the soundtrack of a
recent video game, Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon—they
are that good! The acting in this film
is the worst I have ever witnessed--it’s as if they literally used the first
take of every scene. It makes The Room look like Schindler’s List. The
editing is horrible, so things just randomly happen and there is no flow from
scene to scene. Have you ever wanted to
watch the characters in a movie eat their lunch and have small talk for ten
minutes about nothing that is relevant to the plot in any way? Miami
Connection lets you do that!
Now this review might make it seem like I hate this movie,
but in actuality, I loved it! It’s the
most fun I have ever had watching a B-movie and I highly recommend it to fans
of the genre. I can see this movie
becoming a cult favorite in a couple of years and getting play in movie houses
at midnight showings. If you and some
like-minded buddies want to laugh your heads off and have a couple of beers,
this isn’t a bad way to spend a Friday or Saturday night.
8 out of 10 on the B movie scale!
-review by Michelle Kisner