The Legend of Hercules: Trash, Treasure, or used
Toilet Tissue?
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| "Nevermind my muscles... Beware my serious face!" |
It's a good thing they called this The LEGEND of
Hercules, because it doesn't have much to do with the stories found in Greek
mythology. Most of the names are the same, but they took a lot of liberties in
making this a B-movie popcorn affair.
The laughably bad parts were, surprisingly, few
and far between. There's a fight between Hercules and a CGI Lion that has worse
graphics than most Xbox 360 games. During an arena fight, Hercules' enemy jumps
up on a tall railing, draws two swords, and jumps at our hero. In the next cut,
where he jumps down toward Hercules, the swords are missing from his hands!
There are a few scenes where it looks like the
actors are standing in front of backdrops donated by the local public school's
fifth grade art class. I also cracked up at the presence of modern WWE
wrestling moves in Greece circa 1200 B.C., including the choke slam, suplex,
and back body drop.
To be fair, the movie flows competently. Director
Renny Harlin knew exactly what he wanted to make: A generic popcorn movie that
would appeal to teenagers who can't get into R-rated movies yet. He uses 3D
effects pretty well, but not in any ways you haven't seen before.
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| "What kind of movie is this?" |
The actors chew through the dialogue with proper
British accents, fortunately never taking their parts too seriously (well,
except for Scott Adkins, who does a pretty bad Gerard Butler impersonation for
most of the movie). The hardest thing about describing this movie is trying to
put it into a specific genre. I think it's the first time I've ever seen a
movie with so much action that still qualifies as a chick flick. That's it!
It's an action chick flick.
Ladies and some men will go gaga over Kellan Lutz
as Hercules, who doesn't wear a shirt in the movie at all, at least to my
recollection. Hercules never waivers in his good hearted nature, existing only
to be reunited with the love of his life, Hebe, who's (naturally) been
designated to marry Hercules' half brother, Iphicles, who's basically the
"Loki" to Hercules' "Thor" from The Avengers.
The
half-brothers did a good enough job of playing their roles to have me cheering
for Hercules at the end. There was enough action to keep me interested, and the
movie never really bogs down in pointless dialogue.
-Review by Tom McDaniel