The mysterious person known as H reviews another low budget horror flick.
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| "Look into my eye!" |
The Lake
on Clinton Road is a satirical movie of sorts. Claiming to
be based on true events, the movie’s story in particular is not a true event,
but one of the many possibilities pertaining to the lore surrounding Clinton
Road in New Jersey. Clinton Road is famous for numerous accounts of paranormal
activity. So much so that a magazine dedicated to the state, Weird NJ, made an
entire issue solely on stories about the haunted road. From ghosts and strange
creatures to Satanists and the Ku Klux Klan, people have spoken out about all
kinds of odd occurrences over the years.
The movie
opens with an interrogation with two bad actors playing good cop bad cop and a
woman who is convincingly distraught. Without any explanation or time frame,
you are flung into the poorly written plot where six friends are going on a
trip. I have to admit, the chemistry between these six actors is quite
believable. Conversations flow and many of the scripted jokes are punctual and
seem genuine, but that’s where credibility ends. Like all movies about ghosts,
the viewer must sit through montages and clichéd lines like, “I’m just not
feeling good. I’m going to go lay down” for at least the first 24 hours of the
story to get to the creepy ghost parts.
Now, I’m not
an actor, but I’d like to think that I can be scared on a set if it’s scary
enough, but the effects in this movie are funny bad. The make-up is equivalent
to an adolescent’s first Halloween and the sound must have been stock files from
an outdated program. If you’re looking for “jump scares”, The Lake on Clinton Road is as basic as they come. If you’re not sure
you should be scared, the music is not only not right for the movie, but it’s
obviously telling the observer, “you should be scared!” And who is the camera
operator!? The camera is handled with no care as you’re constantly shifting in
your seat and tilting your head in order to follow an angle.
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| "God damn it!! She gave us a mediocre review!" |
While I
completely respect amateur filmmakers and their efforts at bringing their
passions to life through film, I just can’t help but wonder how some of them
get made. Lake on Clinton Road isn’t
a bad movie per se, but it certainly is inexpert. Who doesn’t like a good ghost
story and one based on true events!? Personally, I’d like to see this movie
remade with a better director, screenplay, editor, cast and crew. So, basically
a complete overhaul because I truly believe this movie, as simply uneven as it
is, is good at its core.
-H
