Patrick had a chance to check out the screener of Stranglehold, a science fiction movie he really didn't like.
When you’re a kid, adults tell you that you can do anything
you set your mind to. Walk on the moon,
be a firefighter, hell, you could even make a movie! Stranglehold
is proof of that. Unfortunately, it
also proves the opposing side of that maxim – just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you should.
Stranglehold is,
apparently, a science fiction thriller set on modern day Earth. The word “apparently” is chosen because if
the heavy-handed exposition didn’t tell the audience this movie was about
aliens, they’d never know. Aside from a
few handled props, there’s nothing in this movie to suggest it has anything to
do with the supernatural or the mysterious.
In fact, it might have actually worked better as a traditional crime
film, perhaps then it wouldn’t be so riddled with plot holes. But that’s getting ahead of myself; let’s
keep it simple.
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| "You gave me a hat. You saved my life!!" |
Stranglehold may
not actually do anything right. The
dialogue was written by someone who appears to have a tenuous grasp on the
English language at best. Misused words,
odd sentence structure, and some generally unnatural phrasing plagues the films
“dialogue.” To call it dialogue is a
misnomer – no two characters ever really seem to have a conversation, they
instead recite their lines in a vacuum, with zero regard for the character in
front of them. The result is jarring and
disconcerting. This fact is further exacerbated
by the fact that the overall acting performances range from passably bad to
abysmal. One character in particular
appears to exist only to spew exposition, and at one point, appears to actually
be reading from the script when it requires him to say more than a few words on
camera. Low budget independent films
always have an uphill battle, but hiring competent actors shouldn’t be part of
the challenge.
For the sake of avoiding spoilers, only a few comments about
the plot are necessary – it’s a jumbled, nonsensical mess. Perhaps the overall concept has value, but it
is delivered in such a mealy-mouthed, noncommittal manner that the audience
will likely find itself scratching its collective heads wondering why anyone is
doing anything in this movie. At times,
it’s downright boneheaded, including a moment where imprisoned characters are
discussing their escape plans WITHIN EARSHOT OF AN ARMED GUARD, and another
where a character (as far as I could tell) goes from being in a coma, to a
walking, talking character, to a prisoner without any explanation or
transition. Perhaps I missed these
elements, but you’ll have to forgive me, I was just so bored.
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| "Don't mind me. I'm just reading my lines." |
Finally, in the one area that requires neither a good script
nor good actors, Stranglehold continues
to disappoint. Technically, the movie is
still a travesty. The cinematography ranges
from boring to obstructive, and an apparent lack of special effects budget
required virtually any violence or excitement to occur off-screen. The sound design is somehow even more
cringe-inducing. The music is often
poorly chosen, and even becomes intrusive in one scene, where the music is
louder than the dialogue. One scene in
particular features a song so bad (perhaps one of the cast member’s band?) and
out-of-place that it actually caused this viewer to laugh out loud when it was
featured. Rounding out this sound
nightmare, are the most anemic gunshot sound effects you’ll ever hear. Laughable, honestly.
One final thought – did the filmmakers accidentally name the main character after a well-known brand of
cognac?
To be blunt, being put into a stranglehold until passing out
is probably a better use of your time than watching this “film.”
Stranglehold is out on VOD September 15th
Score:
-Patrick McDonald