Three Michigan haunts. One particularly chilling. Visit if you dare!
For
die-hard horror fans, such as myself, October is by far the most glorious month
of the year. While everyone else is drinking pumpkin spice lattes and
spending their days at the cider mill, we are spending our nights binging on
horror movie marathons and looking for the next haunted thrill. The main
attractions for horror hounds each Halloween are the many haunted rides and
houses that open up for our enjoyment. Having visited attractions all
over, including Cedar Point’s Halloweekends and Rob Zombie’s Great
American Nightmare, I couldn’t wait to find some excitement here in
Michigan this year. Recently, I had the chance to visit three different
haunts all within the Flint area.
First
on the list was Saint Lucifer’s Scream Park, which comes highly
recommended from many different sources—including Forbes Magazine, Travel
Channel and mlive.com. While this all sounds extremely promising, I must
admit that I have been to plenty of highly acclaimed attractions and not all of
them live up to the hype. After about an hour drive, my friend and I
pulled up to the complex. As we pulled in and I see the line of people
waiting outside, my heart began to flutter and I became giddy inside like a
middle-schooler slow dancing for the first time at the school dance. We
had purchased our tickets online, so we got to jump right into the entrance
line. As we were waiting, there were character actors walking around
terrorizing those waiting, as expected with any haunted attraction. These
actors weren’t relying on loud noises or yelling to scare waiting guests—instead they were
making very little noise as they snuck up behind patrons using stealthy scare
tactics. For me at least, this is much more uncomfortable than someone
popping out and screaming in my face.
Accompanying the outdoor actors was a rather loud soundtrack of the Lamb of God discography (haunted houses obviously require heavy music) and eventually we gained entrance into the attraction. The staff took small groups in at a time, only heightening the experience. Upon entrance, we heard the typical “don’t touch the actors, they won’t touch you” speech, but here it was a little different. Instead, there was a video showing the inside of an asylum with an unruly patient running down the hall as our head “nurse” was giving us the speech. The patient seems to have escaped, so our nurse took us down a hallway and into an elevator. The elevator room had to be by far one of the most genius starts to any haunted attraction that I have ever been to. Without giving away too much, let’s just say that you are not alone in that elevator. After exiting the lift, we began our way through the different rooms. Each room was extremely detailed and each actor was genuinely dedicated to their craft–the entire package was wholly convincing. As a guest, you spend a good two to five minutes in each room, all while the actors are putting on a grand show. Not only was it frightening, but it became quite the spectacle. Complete with a satanic ritual room, this attraction is definitely a must-see in our home state. Fantastic sets and truly committed actors turn this haunt into a full show, rather than just a walk-through house.
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| "But, Mom! I don't wanna go to school today!" |
Second
up was part two of the Scream Park’s offerings, 13 Feet Under.
From what I understand, this section has only been open for about two years now
and it seemed as if they’re still trying to figure it out. From the
start, it looked like it could have been a sort of prison themed haunt, but as
you walk in, it began to appear as a zombie haunt. It didn't appear to
have a tonal focus down yet. While there were quite a few decent scares, the
entire house almost felt unfinished. The sets weren’t nearly as
impressive as they were in the asylum and there were what felt like a lack of
actors (there are entire rooms where absolutely nothing happens). The
lack of actors not only lowers the fear level, but it also affects any sense of
direction–we had accidentally gone through one of the emergency exits and had
to head back in due to the fact that there was nobody there to stop us from
heading through that door. Ultimately, 13 Feet Under is a decent
pairing for Saint Lucifer’s Haunted Asylum, but it’s just not in the
same ballpark when it comes to quality.
Our
final stop was The Crypt Haunted House At Chemco. This attraction
was not on our list for the night, but as we were waiting in line at Lucifer’s
we noticed spotlights a short distance down the road. Assuming it was
another haunt, I searched the haunts in the area and sure enough, it turned out
to be The Crypt. After our stay at the asylum, we traveled about a
mile down the road to what seemed to be a deserted building. There was no
line outside and no sign of any other cars pulling in. A lone security
guard greeted us and we headed toward the entrance. At this point, I
assumed one of two things: either this haunt was terrible or it was just in an
unfortunate location with the critically acclaimed Saint Lucifer’s a
mile down the road.
Walking up to the entrance, we were greeted by Freddy Krueger and a precariously friendly older woman took our admission and told us to “hand those tickets to Freddy.” Freddy, by the way, didn't say much at all, feeling as if the actor that was supposed to be Freddy was hogtied under the ticket stand somewhere. By now, I’m thoroughly creeped out, as the whole experience so far felt eerily like the start of a horror movie. There was an alarming lack of patrons. The building looked legitimately run-down. The strangely empty Halloween mask shop next door, with no employees and a wide open door, by the way. Even the semi-attractive older woman working the window seemed like someone in a Rob Zombie flick.
After handing over our tickets, Freddy then opened the curtains and sent us on our merry way. Immediately I took notice to the level of detail in each room. Not only did it rival Lucifer’s, but it took it up a few notches. Every room looked like a movie set, each complete with their own tone and even their own smells. The actors here felt as if they posed a real threat. In one room, a man was yelling in my face accusing me of looking at his mother in the bathtub. I was rendered speechless and I felt like I wanted to just give up and cower down–I mean, I really felt threatened. The house had a good number of actors, but also employed a plethora of great props and surprising animatronics. Many would count this as a cheap way to scare guests, but honestly some of these props nowadays are just as scary as real people, especially under darkness, and when the actors have already effectively raised your heart rate.
The Crypt played on almost every fear guests may have, complete with a clown room and of course chainsaws. After literally running out of the exit, I had to stop, catch my breath and process what just happened. This house was scary. It’s not an exaggeration when I say that I was genuinely terrified. Even though The Crypt doesn’t have the praise and marketing that Saint Lucifer’s has, trust me when I tell you to head a mile down and check this one out. No kidding, one of the best haunts I’ve ever experienced.
Walking up to the entrance, we were greeted by Freddy Krueger and a precariously friendly older woman took our admission and told us to “hand those tickets to Freddy.” Freddy, by the way, didn't say much at all, feeling as if the actor that was supposed to be Freddy was hogtied under the ticket stand somewhere. By now, I’m thoroughly creeped out, as the whole experience so far felt eerily like the start of a horror movie. There was an alarming lack of patrons. The building looked legitimately run-down. The strangely empty Halloween mask shop next door, with no employees and a wide open door, by the way. Even the semi-attractive older woman working the window seemed like someone in a Rob Zombie flick.
After handing over our tickets, Freddy then opened the curtains and sent us on our merry way. Immediately I took notice to the level of detail in each room. Not only did it rival Lucifer’s, but it took it up a few notches. Every room looked like a movie set, each complete with their own tone and even their own smells. The actors here felt as if they posed a real threat. In one room, a man was yelling in my face accusing me of looking at his mother in the bathtub. I was rendered speechless and I felt like I wanted to just give up and cower down–I mean, I really felt threatened. The house had a good number of actors, but also employed a plethora of great props and surprising animatronics. Many would count this as a cheap way to scare guests, but honestly some of these props nowadays are just as scary as real people, especially under darkness, and when the actors have already effectively raised your heart rate.
The Crypt played on almost every fear guests may have, complete with a clown room and of course chainsaws. After literally running out of the exit, I had to stop, catch my breath and process what just happened. This house was scary. It’s not an exaggeration when I say that I was genuinely terrified. Even though The Crypt doesn’t have the praise and marketing that Saint Lucifer’s has, trust me when I tell you to head a mile down and check this one out. No kidding, one of the best haunts I’ve ever experienced.
Happy
haunting!
- Shayne McGuire
- Shayne McGuire
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