Only the footage was available, there was no sound, script, or outline available to give a hint of what the plot was supposed to entail. Vinegar Syndrome enlisted the help of Kurtis Spieler to "re-direct" and edit the footage into a semblance of a coherent narrative. This is the story of the New York Ninja (2021)!
The story follows John (John Liu) a blissfully in love sound technician who has just learned that his girlfriend is pregnant. Unfortunately, after they part ways for the day, she is murdered ten minutes later by a gang after she is witness to a crime. John is devastated by her death and utilizes his long buried ninja skills to exact revenge a la Sho Kosugi in Pray for Death (1985). John's skills are many, but his greatest strength might be his roller skating ability, wherein he twirls around his foes throwing shuriken and kicking ass. For whatever reason, the fact that he can skate never comes up again, perhaps it is too powerful.
New York Ninja is filled to the brim with zany villians, the main one being a serial killer who is in possession of a briefcase full of glowing plutonium which he periodically opens to radiate himself. It might give him special powers, but mostly it seems that he is suffering from acute radiation poisoning. It also could be melting his brain because he has a insatiable lust for pretty women but after having sex with them he starts to shed skin and murders them in his crazed state. He could be using the plutonium as some sort of radioactive Viagra, who knows.
Another colorful character is the Plutonium Killer's chauffeur/bodyguard who has a bad ass rattail and incredible sword-fighting skills. You know shit is about to get serious when he ceremoniously puts the rattail in his mouth before assuming his fighting stance. Rounding out the roster are about ten thousand thugs dressed in the most random assortment of clothes ever--it's goofy even for an '80s film. No piece of garment is too superfluous--dudes are wearing jockstraps outside of their jeans, skiing goggles, hoodies with duct tape all over them, and fencing masks.
Since the dialog and soundtrack were lost, a dub was produced with a dream team of cult movie stars lending their voices: Linnea Quigley, Cynthia Rothrock, Leon Isaac Kennedy and more! The dubbing has that perfect mix of awkwardness and hilarious line delivery that could have been straight out of a direct-to-VHS release. The amazing score was provided by the Detroit based psychedelic synth-rock band Voyag3r and it accompanies the high flying ninja fighting action with a pulse pounding sound that feels retro and progressive at the same time.
As per usual, the transfer of the film from Vinegar Syndrome is top-notch and everything looks crystal clear. More often than not, the modern '80s film pastiche attempt feels artificial and try-hard. New York Ninja is the exception because the footage is actually vintage, so you get those endearing and earnest performances, but with the ability to use what we know in hindsight that makes these kind of films enjoyable and entertaining to watch. Anyone who is a fan of films like Miami Connection (1987) or Samurai Cop (1991) will have an absolute blast with New York Ninja.
--Michelle Kisner
