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| Photos courtesy of Unearthed Films |
Movies about killer snakes aren't rare, but films where they kill hundreds of them onscreen are few and far between. Calamity of Snakes (1982) is one of the most harrowing and fascinating entries into the "when animals attack" genre, and it mixes in a few Black Magic genre staples. While on the whole, the film is incredibly entertaining, if one has an aversion to animal cruelty, they will probably turn it off in the first ten minutes as they witness dozens of snakes being brutally hacked apart with shovels and axes. Unearthed Films was nice enough to provide an "animal cruelty-free" cut, which may interest those who want to see the lunacy without the copious animal death.
The film opens with construction workers cleaning up a site for a luxury apartment complex. As they clear the area, they discover an underground den filled with hundreds of snakes. Despite a dire warning from his daughter, the project manager opts to have the snakes destroyed instead of calling professionals to remove them or move the apartment location. He saves some money initially, but he has also angered some mystical snake gods, and they enact slithery retribution on the complex after it is finished and the tenants have moved in.
Calamity of Snakes mixes goofy slapstick comedy with the chaotic snake attacks, and it is a tonal whiplash the entire runtime. The snakes don't just slither around--they jump out at everyone as if they are being tossed at them off-camera (and they very likely were). It's hilarious to see people trying to go about their daily business when suddenly, a hundred snakes start raining down on them. There is also a giant puppet boa constrictor that seems to be the final boss that comes in and lays the smackdown on the unlucky victims. These scenes also have a kung-fu feel as people try to grapple with it.
When I say there is a lot of animal death, I am not exaggerating--it's possible that hundreds of snakes are killed on camera, and they are taken out with various methods. Snakes are skinned alive, chopped up with a katana, burned with flame throwers, and in one sequence, a bunch of mongooses is unleased in a room full of snakes, and it turns into a nature documentary as the animals viciously tear the snakes apart (set to some pretty snazzy synth music). It's intense. Ironically, the disregard for animal life also contributes to the film's entertainment value--they will never make something like this again, thankfully, but it's hard to look away. Luckily for the filmmakers, there aren't black magic snakes in real life, as I am sure they would have suffered a similar fate.
Once the action ramps up to a fever pitch in the last act, it becomes a frenzy of snakes, blood, and mayhem. The snakes interrupt a party, and they start killing everyone indiscriminately--the fire department gets a call and comes in with flamethrowers to purify the building. If you want to see someone get choked to death by a flaming boa constrictor, this is the film to see. The movie ends abruptly with no closure, just a room full of dead people and burnt snakes.
Extras:
The documentary, From Shaw to Snakes: The Venom And Violence Of Early Chinese Language Horror Cinema is an informative piece that delves into the history between China and Taiwan, the cultural significance of snakes in Taiwan, and even serves as an introduction to the Black Magic sub-genre of Hong Kong films. Nathan Hamilton's and Brad Slaton's commentary is less academic and more casual, like hanging out with friends while watching the film, though they do add tidbits here and there to add context to the story.
- Commentary from Nathan Hamilton and Brad Slaton
- Full Length Documentary: From Shaw to Snakes: The Venom And Violence Of Early Chinese Language Horror Cinema
- Reptilian Recollections: Lin Kuang-Yung In Conversation With Chui-Yi Chung
- Alternate Cut
- Cruelty Free Cut
—Michelle Kisner