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| Images courtesy of Blumhouse |
The original Black Phone came at a time when horror was hitting a stride. The inclusion of an upper tier actor like Ethan Hawke in a cinematic genre flick seemed to tick all the boxes and turned out to be one of the highlights of 2021. Scott Derrickson's mix of abduction terror with paranormal elements was a nice surprise that captured the essence of Joe Hill's original short story. Along with a great creep out factor and chilling visual elements, The Black Phone rightfully holds its place as one of the better mainstream horror films of the decade. This cannot be said for his nearly braindead follow-up.
This second chapter turns The Grabber into a pseudo-Freddy Krueger haunting the dreams of the returning Madeleine McGraw as Gwen. The setup is solid, but the story and dramatic folly that follows is truly devastating to the original's legacy, making this one of the biggest disappointments of the year. This is a needless sequel that abandons everything that gave the original a slight edge by turning all the characters into intellectually devoid meat sacks ready for the slaughter.
Stealing endless elements from the Nightmare on Elm Street series, Black Phone 2 presents our main characters returning to find themselves in another situation where The Grabber is haunting them from the dead and at random public payphones. The plot is simplistic and nearly vacant of entertainment value whatsoever. The characters talk like they're reading from a recycled George Lucas script, full of constant explanations and statements that people just wouldn't say aloud. The dialogue hurts.
On the surface, there may have been a story they wanted to tell, but Black Phone 2 expects us to believe that people stand around on the frozen tundra with no gloves, head gear or protection from the icy cold whatsoever.... all the while trying to solve some great mystery while being vanquished by presence of Hawke's Grabber.
Other than shifting the main focus to Gwen and giving us a more female-centric story, Black Phone 2 is a laugh out loud horror comedy for the ages. Recycling the gritty film grain touches from the first chapter, there are a few freaky scenes and a couple last gasps at creativity here, but this second flick is like certain doom for The Grabber and his icy cadavers.
Go into this one with the expectation that you're going to be rolling your eyes and holding on for dear life during this two-hour excursion in exactly what not to do with a sequel. I haven't experienced this much inner laughter in years. Black Phone 2 is insulting to its audience and tarnishes the originality of the first. This wants to be A Nightmare on Elm Street so bad, but misses all its chances to deliver the goods. If this is the best horror flick we get this Halloween, I'm offing myself Grabber style. This isn't scary. This isn't gory. It's just awful filmmaking.
-CG