“Are you sure that you really know your one sweet love?” Raul reviews Artsploitation's release of The Perfect Husband.
This is an Italian-produced, English-language low budget horror film about a couple that takes a weekend trip to a cabin in the woods. We should all know by now that nothing good ever happens when people go into the woods.
The tagline actually should have been “Are you sure that you really know you want to sit through this one?” I wanted to like this, and was hoping for something at least halfway decent after sitting through the absolutely wretched horror picture Old 37, which was built around starring horror icons Kane Hodder and Bill Moseley. This one is slightly superior to the other, but unfortunately, that isn’t really saying much. What we are treated to is a slow-paced movie that, at first, runs like a commercial for some designer clothing and then morphs into something like The Shining or one of many other cabin-based horror pictures. The filmmakers provide the viewers with a Saw-style ending that can be seen miles away, and we're supposed to freak out and think that it is totally awesome.
|We're about to be murdered. Wanna make out?|
The first fifty-plus minutes are unhurried, and there isn’t a whole lot going on. The cinematography looks pretty at times, and there are some nice scenic and bug shots, but it is sluggish and feels like a long television advertisement. The movie is practically over before any of the action starts to take place. When the violence finally arrives, it’s more than enough to please most gore and torture-porn fans. The motion picture is able to deliver on that end, heavy on the blood and gore when it’s present. But that cannot make up for the snail’s pace of this one.
If the first half had been cut down and got moving faster into the actual horror element, it may have been saved, creating a much more pleasant experience for horror fans. I am actually surprised to see that this film received multiple wins and nominations at various horror film festivals for Best Feature Film, Best Sound, and Best Editing. I would hate to see what its competition was.
The acting is borderline awful during the slow portions, but improves during the crazy parts. The score was adequate and fit the genre; however, I did find it somewhat annoying and unnecessary at times.
Bottom line: there are so many other films from the genre that are similar to this one, but better. If you want psychosis, watch Haute Tension. If you want another cabin-type movie, check out Resolution.
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