“Are you sure that you really know your one
sweet love?” Raul reviews Artsploitation's release of The Perfect Husband.
This is an Italian-produced, English-language
low budget horror film about a couple that takes a weekend trip to a cabin in
the woods. We should all know by now that nothing good ever happens when people
go into the woods.
The tagline actually should have been “Are you sure that you really know you want
to sit through this one?” I wanted to like this, and was hoping for
something at least halfway decent after sitting through the absolutely wretched
horror picture Old 37, which was
built around starring horror icons Kane Hodder and Bill Moseley. This one is slightly superior to the
other, but unfortunately, that isn’t really saying much. What we are treated to
is a slow-paced movie that, at first, runs like a commercial for some designer
clothing and then morphs into something like The Shining or one of many other cabin-based horror pictures. The
filmmakers provide the viewers with a Saw-style ending that can be seen miles away, and we're supposed to freak out and
think that it is totally awesome.
 |
| We're about to be murdered. Wanna make out? |
The first fifty-plus minutes are unhurried,
and there isn’t a whole lot going on. The cinematography looks pretty at times,
and there are some nice scenic and bug shots, but it is sluggish and feels like
a long television advertisement. The movie is practically over before any of
the action starts to take place. When the violence finally arrives, it’s more
than enough to please most gore and torture-porn fans. The motion picture is
able to deliver on that end, heavy on the blood and gore when it’s present. But
that cannot make up for the snail’s pace of this one.
If the first half had been cut down and got
moving faster into the actual horror element, it may have been saved, creating
a much more pleasant experience for horror fans. I am actually surprised to see that this film received
multiple wins and nominations at various horror film festivals for Best Feature
Film, Best Sound, and Best Editing. I would hate to see what its competition
was.
The acting is borderline awful during the
slow portions, but improves during the crazy parts. The score was adequate and
fit the genre; however, I did find it somewhat annoying and unnecessary at
times.
Bottom line: there are so many other films
from the genre that are similar to this one, but better. If you want psychosis,
watch Haute Tension. If you want
another cabin-type movie, check out Resolution.
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Score
-Raul Vantassle